Childhood Tantrums and Bullying

I really enjoy reading the newspaper, not only because it keeps me abreast of current events, both nationally and internationally, but also because I learn so many interesting things. For example, in reading an article by John Rosemond (noted expert on parenting) in the People section of The Advocate, my newspaper of choice, I learned that tantrums beyond a child’s third birthday were a rarity before the parenting revolution of the late 1960s and early 1970s when parents’ common sense was “drowned in a tsunami of psychobabble.” Until this time, although loved and cherished by their parents, at least for the most part, children were not the center of the family—parents were—nor did children believe they were these tiny planets around which the entire universe revolved. On the other hand, today’s children “are generally worshipped by parents who face the center rather than occupy it;” and, as everyone knows, “kings, queens, demigods, and dictators have always been given to tantrums,” although today’s rulers are “wearing pull ups” (Advocate, 2008, p. 1D).

Next, in reading an article by Leanne Italie (Associated Press), I learned there has been a drastic increase in bullying by little children. In fact, according to Meline Kevorkian, researcher and public speaker on bullying, “Research indicates that three-quarters of 8-t0-11-year-olds report they’ve been bullied, with more than half identifying it as a ‘big’ problem.” Moreover, Trudy Ludwig, author of four books on bullying, says that although parents might think such behavior is normal for little children, it isn’t normal at all. The reality, however, is that we, as a society, have “normalized this abnormal behavior.” (Advocate, 2008, p. 1D-2D).

Of course, what I found especially interesting was how this increase in bullying among little children, just like increased tantrums, is the fault of parents. After all, as Barbara Kimmel relates, “Nurturing empathy might be hard for competitive parents who scream at 6-year-olds during soccer games or buy Coach bags for their girls, then wonder out loud who’s carrying the knockoffs” (Advocate, 2008, p. 1D-2D).

After reading these enlightening articles, I poured a fresh cup of coffee, lit yet another cigarette, leaned back in my chair, blew a smoke ring, and began to ponder the implications of what I had just learned. Not that it took much pondering to realize there were no implications, given the meaning of the articles was crystal clear and, no matter how I looked at what I had learned, one and one still equaled two.

The problem, or so I ascertained, is that today’s parents are spoiling their children rotten; and, as a result, they are creating narcissistic little monsters who will grow up to become narcissistic big monsters. Parents are allowing their children to rule the home. They are allowing them to have tantrums (My mama would call it “pitching a fit”). They are allowing their children to be rude, uncivil, and disrespectful. They are allowing them to be greedy. They are allowing them to bully other children. Worst, parents are actually encouraging this kind of behavior by the way they themselves act; and as the old saying goes, “Monkey see, monkey do.”

Italie, L. “Little Bullies Become Concern;” The Advocate; Baton Rouge, LA; Monday, June 30, 2008; p. 1D-2D.

Rosemond, John; “A Brief History of Tantrums;” The Advocate; Baton Rouge, LA; Monday, June 30, 2008; p. 1D-2D.