"Fat Guys in the Woods" Is Not the Weather, but It's Entertaining

Google Images (2014)

I turned on the Weather Channel today while I was cleaning house. Why? Well, obviously I wanted to get the latest weather forecast, specifically for south Louisiana, since some severe weather is slated to move into our area overnight. I was also curious about weather conditions in New York State, given we have relatives in the Buffalo area and they’ve had something like eight feet of snow over the last several days.  Speaking of which, did you know snow that deep can not only bury your car but your house? It can also accumulate on your roof and eventually cause it to collapse. I guess it can bury you as well if you stand outside in one spot for too long, but I’m sure folks up there already know that already and don't take any chances.

Anyway, as I was saying, I turned on the Weather Channel to get the weather. The weather report, after all, is what one expects to find when one turns on a television station named the “Weather Channel,” wouldn’t you agree? But guess what. I didn’t get the weather. What I got was some show called “Fat Guys in the Woods.”  And believe it or not, but I actually watched the show for a few minutes (more like 20 or 25) since it was entertaining in a strange kind of way.  

"Fat Guys in the Woods" is about a survivalist named Creek Stewart (Who on Earth would name a kid "Creek"?). He has long, blond hair worn in a ponytail, and for his more than likely considerable salary, he takes several overweight, normally sedentary guys, whose idea of a hike is going from the sofa to the fridge and back again during half time, out into the middle of the woods and teaches them how to survive by using Mother Nature to their benefit. 

In the segment I saw, it’s the dead of winter and there are four fat guys. For the first few days, Stewart teaches these fat guys the basics, namely the necessities of survival like how to build a warm, snug shelter out of branches and leaves, how to start a fire using a condom (I kid you not), and how to sterilize water with hot rocks. (Between the two of us, I have to wonder just how many people who get lost in the woods are equipped with the item mentioned in the second example.)

On with the story: For the “basic training” period, which lasts several days, the four guys complain that they are starving because they can’t find anything to eat except moss, nuts, and leaves. And to prove they are starving, a counter appears in the corner of the TV screen showing you how many calories they have consumed since the beginning of their grand adventure.  For example, at the end of day one, the counter reads “Calories consumed: 0”. At the end of the second day, the counter reads “Calories consumed: 60”. So you can imagine how thrilled the fat guys are when they finally get a meal containing substantial calories, even though they are initially reluctant to consume said meal since it consists of fired bees dipped in honey. (Sounds yummy, doesn’t it?)

How do they come by the bees and honey? Well, initially they build some traps in hopes of catching a squirrel, rabbit, or other four-legged critter, but when they don’t have any luck, as demonstrated by their head shaking, long faces, and mumbled curses, Stewart tells the fat guys to stop complaining and go find anything even remotely edible. So off they go, traipsing around in the woods, and one fat guy locates a rotten log, in which he spies some dead bugs. He calls Stewart and the other guys to come see; they come running; Stewart peers at the bugs and shouts, “Eureka, we’ve got bees!” (Well, something to that effect), after which he tells the four fat guys that bees are not only edible but contain all the vitamins and minerals necessary to sustain life on this planet (Well, maybe those aren’t his exact words, but they’re close). What’s more, Stewart says that the log is filled with honeycombs, and as everyone knows, honey is basically sugar, which contains substantial calories and produces energy.  So, get this: By preparing a feast of bees and honey, the survivalist and four fat guys can ward off starvation for the next few days.  

Okay, they enjoy their feast of fried bees dipped in honey, and Stewart tells the fat guys that, come morning, it’s time for them to set out alone in separate directions and use the survival techniques they’ve learned. So, at sunrise, the fat guys do exactly that. They go marching off to build shelters out of leaves, start fires with condoms, sterilize water with rocks, and live off Mother Nature. Of course, Stewart, being the mentor of the four, walks around checking up on everybody so they won’t do anything too stupid and get themselves killed.

Finally, day seven arrives, and Stewart praises each guy for demonstrating his true grit by “hanging tough” and not giving up. He also tells the guys that they can take the skills they’ve learned and use them to succeed in the real world when they return to civilization. How? Heck if I know, but that’s what he says. Maybe in the “real world” the four fat guys can all get high-paying jobs in Cooperate America since Big Business is always on the lookout for folks who can build fires using a condom.

So just what is the point of this blog post? Oh, that, I almost forgot. The point is that I turned on the Weather Channel to get the weather forecast for our area, and what I got instead was a lesson in survival. Oh, and I never did get the weather, because the next time I turned on the station, it was airing some show about strange happenings of the supernatural kind at a place called Devil’s Gate Dam somewhere out there in sunny California.

Facebook Is Making Us Unhappy

Google Images (2014)

Like the majority of people in this country, or so I imagine, I have a Facebook page, where I sometimes post my thoughts on various topics, though I’m sure that most of my Facebook “Friends’ would prefer that I kept them to myself. I also occasionally upload photos, usually of myself, my overweight cat, Bug; and/or wine bottles, since I like wine; and I also sometimes share what I’ve been doing. Of course, what I’ve been doing is usually something boring like painting my toe nails, or at least trying to paint them since I can’t see my toe nails anymore even when wearing my new prescription glasses (I simply dab nail polish in their general direction and hope some of it lands where it should); or mowing the lawn in the godawful Louisiana heat; or maybe going shopping for groceries at Walmart. But then, unlike that of most of my Facebook Friends, my life is pretty darn boring.

And that brings me to the point of this blog post:  Facebook is making us unhappy.

Perhaps it’s because I’m an avid reader, or maybe it’s because I’m an educator, or I could simply be nosy, but I enjoy conducting research and learning things. One thing I learned not too long ago is that Facebook is making us sad. Yes, that’s right. Because of Facebook, we are becoming increasingly unhappy. Why? Well, it’s because via our Facebook interaction we are privy to other people’s lives, and by being privy to others' lives, we eventually come to realize just how pathetic our own lives are in comparison.

What? You don't belief me? Well,  here's proof:

Studies have shown that social networking sites like Facebook are contributing to a growing sense of self-dissatisfaction in individuals (Coleman, 2011), and though younger people are more easily influenced, older people are affected as well.

Apparently, as per the studies, we read other people’s postings about what they’re doing,  which are often exaggerations or out-and-out lies, and we see photos (most likely Photo-Shopped) of them, as well as their kids, pets, homes, exotic vacations, etc., after which we do some comparing and end up feeling inferior. After all, our lives are boring in comparison to theirs, our kids are juvenile delinquents, our pets have fleas, our homes are in a constant state of disrepair, and the most exotic vacation we’ve taken in 10 years was when we drove five miles from the house to play three rounds of miniature golf.  

The consensus of the studies is that—Big Surprise—social networking sites like Facebook (number one for social interaction) are making us sad because they are all about "ME". People are in effect saying, “Look at ME! Look at how glamorous I am! Look at my perfect kids and perfect pets! Look at my nice house and fine car! Look at what I've got! Look at what I've done! Me! Me! Me! Me!”

In the end, even though many people lie and/or exaggerate on Facebook, and even though their photos may be air-brushed, according to the studies, this egotistical, narcissistic boasting and bragging is contributing to a profound sense of alienation and dissatisfaction among people in the world today. In other words, it’s making us all sad. 

So, in closing, I think maybe we all need to find something better to do with our time, instead of spending it doing something that’s just going to make other people cry. As for me, well, I’m going to go dab some polish in the general direction of my toe nails and hope at least some of it lands where it should.

Source:

Coleman, L. (2011) The anti-social network: By helping other people look happy, Facebook is making us sad. Retrieved from 

http://www.slate.com/articles/double_x/doublex/2011/01/the_antisocial_network.html

The Commercialism of the Holidays: Here's to "Hallo-Thank-Mas"

I guess you've noticed this phenomenon, at least you have if you're older than, let's say 25; otherwise you're probably too busy tweeting, texting, and playing games on your Smartphone to notice anything that's happening in the world. What I'm referring to is how the holidays now all run together, overlapping so that you aren't sure exactly what you're celebrating. Moreover, it seems that with each year that passes, this blending of the holidays becomes even more pronounced, so that you don't really enjoy any of them, at least not like in the past. They're all just one big blur.

Google Images (2014)

For example, here in Lafayette, the stores started putting out Halloween decorations and candy at the end of August (Good thing most candy will last forever); then around mid-September the shelves were stocked with Thanksgiving decorations, paper plates, napkins, and other "foo-fahs," as my mama called them; and approximately three weeks ago, I noticed the first displays of Christmas decorations, artificial trees, home decor items, etc. Of course, now, three weeks later, Christmas "stuff" far outnumbers the "stuff" for Halloween and Thanksgiving, even though  Christmas is still two months away. 

I ask you, who in the heck wants to think about Christmas before Thanksgiving, let alone before Halloween? Maybe you do, but I sure don't. Of course, regardless of how we feel, we all realize, at least subconsciously, that the reason why we are no longer allowed to savor a holiday can be summed up in one word--commercialism. Businesses want to capitalize off the holidays as much and as long as possible, and by stocking the shelves earlier each year, they can sell even more stuff to us, the consumers, and we, the consumers, are being taken in by this ploy. And that brings me to the point of this blog: the good old days.

The Good-Old Days When You Enjoyed Each Holiday

Things were different back when my siblings and I were growing up in the small town of Fairburn, Georgia (It was small then, at least). The holidays were distinct and separate, and no one even considered thinking about one until the other was long over. 

Google Images (2014)

First came Halloween. Not that the stores on Main Street (that's where all the main stores were located) promoted Halloween to any extent. For one, people back then didn't decorate their homes with giant spiderwebs, headless mannequins, or tombstones, etc. The most anyone did was carve a pumpkin, usually one from their own garden, into a jack-o'-lantern and maybe stick a candle in it. As for costumes, well, the stores didn't sell them. People made their own. 

In fact, Vicki, Bud, and I made our own costumes. One year, for example, my brother and I pilfered two pairs of Daddy's white long-johns (Vicki didn't make it a threesome because she thought Bud and I were idiots); and we used black ink pens to draw ribs and other bones on the long-johns, dusted our faces with flour to make ourselves look all pale and spooky, and went trick-or-treating as skeletons (We wondered why folks were laughing). Daddy wasn't exactly impressed, and believe you me, Mama had a heck of time getting the black ink out of those long-johns. Plus, she didn't appreciate our wasting perfectly good flour. The point, though, is that we enjoyed Halloween, and the last thing on our minds was Thanksgiving, let alone Christmas.

Cranberry Sauce

Thanksgiving did eventually roll around, however, and it was a holiday unto itself. If Mama and Daddy couldn't afford to buy a turkey, which was usually the case, we had a plump hen for dinner (Hens were free since we had our own chickens). Moreover, prior to the big "eating" day, we kids would collect pecans from around the trees between our house and Aunt Pat's  so Mama could make pecan pies. We also had candied yams made with sweet potatoes from our garden, along with home-grown peas, corn, and other veggies that Mama had canned during the summer. I think the only thing "store-bought" that we had for Thanksgiving was the cranberry sauce (the kind you buy in a can and slice), although I do recall Mama serving brown-and-serve rolls with the meal. 

The highlight of Thanksgiving, though, wasn't really the food, at least not for us kids; it was the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade. We would turn on the TV to one of its three channels (We did this by hand since there were no remotes) and watch in awe as the floats, bands, and clowns made their way down 6th Avenue in the Big Apple (That's New York City). Sometimes it would even be snowing in New York, which added a special festive air to the spectacle. Of course, what we were really waiting for was the "Big Moment" when Santa would appear in a sleigh drawn by his eight tiny reindeer--make that nine when Rudolph was included. Santa was so jolly and fat, and he would wave at the bystanders as he laughed his hearty "Ho, ho, ho." Oh, how Bud, Vicki, and I loved seeing Santa, even in black-and-white, since we didn't have a color set. Come to think of it, I don't think anyone had a color set back then, except perhaps some really rich folks, maybe the town doctor and dentist, though maybe even really rich folks didn't have color sets either, because I don't think they had yet been invented and, therefore, were still but a gleam in some mad scientist's eye.   

Christmas Decorations

Santa's sleigh ride down 6th Avenue heralded the beginning of the Christmas season, but it really didn't get wound up to full throttle until the arrival of the Sears and Roebuck Christmas Catalog. Oh, how Bud, Vicki, and I looked forward to seeing that glossy, treasure-filled testament to hedonistic covetousness arrive in the mail. Its pages were magical. They held all the wonders of the world. There were dolls, electric trains, doll houses, tea sets, Davy Crockett coonskin caps, Mickey Mouse toys, teddy bears, Roy Rogers and Dale Evans' ranches, and page after page after page of mouth-watering chocolates and other delightful confections. There were, of course, also clothes, but what kid paid them any mind? And every day after school, Bud, Vicki, and I would race into the house, change our clothes, do our homework, complete our chores, and have an after-school snack--all at warp speed--so we could sit around the coal-burning stove in the living room and peruse all the treasures in that magical book. 

So see, there actually was a time when the holidays were each special and celebrated with no thought whatsoever given to the next holiday. Upcoming holidays were to be anticipated, yes, but not allowed to infringe upon the present holiday. (Hmm, did that make sense?) 

Anyway, since things are different in today's world, I think the government, or whoever makes such monumental decisions, should institute a new holiday that combines all current holidays into one holiday, since that's what has happened anyway. For example, instead of Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas, we could have "Hallo-Thank-Mas." Hey, and while they're at it, the powers-that-be could establish "Valen-Pats-Ter" or "Val-Eas-Pats" (a blend of Valentine's Day, Easter, and St. Patrick's Day); and what about "Ma-Pa-Fourth" (Mother's Day, Father's Day, and the Fourth of July)? Of course, there are additional holidays to consider, like New Year's Day, Mardi Gras, Martin Luther King's Day, Labor Day, etc., so they would have to decide how to combine those holidays as well. 

Then again, why not simplify the matter and create one big holiday that incorporates them all and lasts all year long? It could be called "Eve-King-Pats-Eas-Mardi-Ma-Pa-Fourth-Labor-Hallo-Thank-Mas Day." Stores would display the decorations for this holiday all year long, people would be shopping continuously, kids would be OD-ing on candy, corporations would be raking in even greater profits, and stockholders everywhere would be ecstatic. Ah, to borrow from Voltaire, it would be "the best of all possible worlds."

And that's my blog for tonight. 

Samuel L. Jackson Shines in Black Snake Moan

Review of Black Snake Moan

This review is for one of those movies that when I saw it the first time I said I would see it again. Well, I did exactly that—saw it again. A few years had elapsed since my first viewing of the film so I had forgotten much of the plot (My memory isn’t what it used to be), but upon seeing it again, I agree with my initial review: Black Snake Moan is a definite See-Again movie.  

Review of Black Snake Moan, Starring Samuel L. Jackson

Released in 2007, Black Snake Moan was both written and directed by the quite talented Mr. Craig Brewer and filmed in the Deep South, mainly the environs of Stanton, Tennessee (Wikipedia, 2014). A “little movie,” meaning the kind of movie that some people make the mistake of labeling “artsy” or “pretentious,” Black Snake Moan earned the designation solely because it wasn’t a major box-office draw. And why wasn’t it a magnet for audiences? Well, it’s probably not only because the movie has a script that is literate and intelligent, but also because it does not contain any gratuitous violence, profanity, nudity, or computer-generated special effects. In other words, this “little movie” was not a box-office draw because it did not appeal to Hollywood’s target audience—namely testosterone-laden 14-to-17-year-old adolescent males with noodles for brains—even though Christian Ricci spends a good bit of time running around in skimpy underwear.

Samuel L. Jackson plays Lazarus Woods, a god-fearing man who is determined to lead Rae Doole, a young, worldly, head-strong nymphomaniac played by Christina Ricci, down the pathway of righteousness to a far better life than the one she has been living—even if he literally has to drag her kicking and screaming all the way. 

Samuel L. Jackson and Christina Ricci

Although Jackson is always extremely watchable, in this film, he literally shines. In fact, Jackson proves beyond a shadow of a doubt that he is one of the finest actors in Hollywood today, right up there with Morgan Freeman, because, not for one single moment, do you, the viewer, ever think, “Hey, I’m watching Samuel L. Jackson act.” Instead, you believe, and never doubt for a moment, that Jackson is Lazarus Woods; and the ability to make the audience believe you are someone else is the hallmark of a great actor. Ricci, on the other hand, never once lets you forget you are watching Christina Ricci pretend to be someone she isn’t. You know it from the first moment she enters the film, and although she’s fun to watch, you never once mistake Ricci for anyone other than who she is, and that is Christiana Ricci acting like Rae Doole.

Samuel L. Jackson in Black Snake Moan

Ricci’s performance aside, this movie is a must-see film for anyone who likes a good story, enjoys quality cinematography, and appreciates seeing a real actor act. Plus, Samuel L. Jackson plays the guitar and sings the Blues. Now what more could anyone ask for in a film?

Rating: See again—and again and again if I live long enough.  

Source:

Wikipedia (2009) Black Snake Moan; para. 1; retrieved March 16, 2009 from http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Black_Snake_Moan_(film)

Is Bottled Water Better for Us or Only Fancier?

Bottled Water Consumption

“Water, water, everywhere, nor any drop to drink,” says the narrator in Samuel Taylor Coleridge’s masterful poem “The Rime of the Ancient Mariner.” The funny thing, however, is that most people today must feel the same way, even here in the real world, specifically right here in the good old USA. Water, water, everywhere, yet we haven’t a drop to drink. Well, that is unless it comes in a plastic bottle, which must be the case since with each year that passes we Americans are spending more and more on bottled water.

 

Yearly Cost and Consumption of Bottled Water in the United States 

 

According to Quentin Fottrell (2014), “American consumption of bottled water has surged 2,700%, from 354 million gallons in 1976 to 9.7 billion gallons in 2012.” Moreover, according to statisticbrain.com (2014), the annual spending for bottled water in the U.S. is currently at $11.8 billion, and that’s a heck of a lot of money. And just think about it; if the current expenditure is almost $12 billion, what will it be 20 years from now—$15 billion? I wouldn’t doubt it, especially if one takes into account not only increased consumption but also increased prices.

And, yes, my hubby and I are just as guilty as any other American. In fact, I buy bottled water in packs of 24 and sometimes 36 containers, and Chet and I each consume an average of two bottles per day, seven days a week, and 365 days a year. Why do we consume bottled water? Well, it’s because it’s better for us, right?  Not according to Mae Wu, attorney in the health program at National Resources Defense Council, a nonprofit environmental advocacy group in Washington, D.C.

 

Bottled Water Is Not Healthier or Safer

 

Wu contends, “The general public thinks bottled water is going to be safer and cleaner than tap water,” but “For the most part, that’s not true” (Fottrell, 2014).

Tap Water Is Safe to Drink

The reality, according to Peter Gleick, scientist and author of Bottled and Sold: The Story behind Our Obsession with Bottled Water, is that “nearly half of bottled water brands are sourced from the municipal water supply—the same source as what comes out of the tap. Some 45% of bottled waters in the U.S. are actually purified tap water” (Fottrell, 2014).

What really should give us food-for-thought are the startling results of studies conducted in Germany, Switzerland, Italy and France—one published in 2011 and the other in 2013—by Martin Wagner, a scientist at Goethe University Frankfurt’s Department of Aquatic Ecotoxicology. Fottrell (2014) cites Wagner, who says, “Bottled water had a higher contamination of chemicals than glass bottles. There are many compounds in bottled water that we don’t want to have there. Part is leaching from the plastic bottles, lids or contamination of the well.”

 

Fottrell (2014) also relates that among the main compounds Wagner identified during the studies were “endocrine disrupting chemicals, or EDCs, which can act like hormones in the body and have been linked to diabetes, breast cancer and cardiovascular disease.”

Filter Water at Home and Save Money and the Environment

Obviously, bottled water isn’t a better alternative than tap water, yet each year we Americans spend 300 times the amount we would spend if we instead consumed tap water. And if we have any doubts about the purity of our water source, we can always purchase a purifier and purify our own water. As Nick Colas, chief market strategist for ConvergEx, maintains, filtering your own water is “more economical and better for the environment, and one way to avoid using a lot of scrap plastic” (Fottrell, 2014).

Purify Water with a Water Filter

The reality is that we can drink tap water for free—or at least for a price that is considerably lower than what we pay for bottled water—but, instead, we choose to purchase water with fancy names like Opium Springs, Aquatic Liqueur, or Super Duper Dipperful of Water (I made those up), and the question is why.

Why We Spend a Fortune on Bottled Water

The answer is because we are gullible. Yes, we are gullible, which is why when we see ads for fancy bottled waters on television, in magazines, or in newspapers, we believe what the advertisers tell us. We believe that drinking bottled water is better for us because the water that comes in those bottles is purer and, therefore, safer.  As previously demonstrated, however, that simply is not true.

Of course, some people also believe that carrying around a bottle of water with a fancy label on it makes them appear more urbane (That means sophisticated). Yet others believe that bottled water is more thirst quenching than regular water. Yeah, right, I say to this latter group. In case you haven’t noticed, one type of water is just as wet as the other. Water is, after all, water; and regardless of whether it comes from a bottle, a faucet, or the sky, water will quench your thirst. So, with that in mind, save yourself some money and go stick your head under the faucet. Of course, if you want to appear a bit more sophisticated, you can always reuse one of those fancy plastic bottles you bought. Just fill it from the tap. Trust me, no one will ever know the difference.

Sources: 

 

Fottrell, Q. (2014) Why You Should Stop Buying Bottled Water. Retrieved from http://www.marketwatch.com/story/why-you-should-stop-buying-bottled-water-2014-08-04

Amount of Bottled Water Consumed in U.S. (2014). Retrieved from statisticbrain.com

Gott, P. “Bottled Water not Worth Cost.” The Advocate. Baton Rouge, Louisiana. Thursday, August 07, 2008. p. 1E.

Wlpba.org. (2014) Boy Drinking from Hose Photo. Retrieved from googleimages.com