What's Happening to the English Language?

Photo by Rusty Boxcars

Today I was thinking about our language and how people, both Yankees and we Southerners, misuse certain words, specifically the five little words “up, down, bring, take,” and “catch.”

What started me thinking along these lines was something my husband, Chet, said just yesterday. He said, “I’m going to call up Pete.” "Call up?" I thought. "But how do you call up someone? 

After all, according to Webster’s, the word "up" means, (1) “from a lower to a higher place; away from or out of the ground; in or on a higher position or level; (2) in a direction or place thought of as higher; (3) above the horizon; (4) to a later period (from childhood up); (5) to a higher or better condition; (6) to a higher amount or degree; (7) in or into an upright position; (8) in or into existence, action, view, evidence, etc.; (9) into an excited or troubled state; (10) aside, away, by (lay by grain for the winter); (11) so as to be even with in space, time, degree," etc.; and the list goes on and on and on; but not once does Webster’s provide a definition that would allow one to call up someone else on the telephone (Webster’s, 1990, p.1559).

And then there’s the word “down.” People say, “I’m going to go down to visit Aunt Jo at the rest home;” or “I’m gonna really get down tonight and bogie at the Country-Western joint out yonder on the highway.” Okay, although I won’t bore you with all the definitions of “down,” like I did “up,” suffice it to say that, just like up, the word down has myriad definitions, none of which support one’s using it as it’s used in those two examples. 

Next, there’s “bring” and “take,” two words that people misuse all the time. For example, someone might say, “I’m going to bring Mama to the store.” “No, wait,” I want to say. “Don’t you mean you’re going to take Mama to the store? You’re only going to bring her to the store if the store is here and Mama is somewhere else.” After all, we “take” things away from where we are at any given moment, but we bring them toward us. For example, “I am going to take this chocolate cake to the meeting of the Ladies Auxiliary tomorrow; but I hope to be able to bring home some of Charlene’s coconut pie if Myrtice doesn’t eat it all the way she did last time.” I don’t care what people say, but we bring things or people from a place that is distant to a place that is nearby; however, we take things or people from a place that is nearby to one more distant. Yes, we can, however, take things, meaning retrieve of pilfer them, from someone or someplace; for example, "He took all my money and spent it on beer;" or "I am going to take this book and carry it over to the sofa, where I am going to lie down and read for a while."

Finally, there’s the word “catch.” I don’t know when I first noticed this trend, but people today say things like, “She caught a heart attack;” or “He caught a headache.” What? How on earth can anyone catch a heart attack or headache? Since when are these maladies contagious? Yes, one can catch a cold, but a heart attack? I don't know about you, but, although I could perhaps tolerate catching a headache, a heart attack is a different story entirely. If I can catch a heart attack from being exposed to someone who has actually experienced cardiac arrest, then it's enough to make me want to stay indoors and call up people and not bother with bringing or taking anything or anybody anywhere.

Webster’s New World Dictionary (1990); New York; Random House