Tuesday, August 16, 2016

The Value of Good Neighbors



“Neighbors bring food with death and flowers with sickness and little things in between.” ~Harper Lee, To Kill a Mockingbird

What makes a good neighbor? Based upon various studies, it seems that good neighbors tend to have five distinct qualities in common: compassion, consideration, friendliness, helpfulness, and understanding. Most people, however, are not very good neighbors and, in fact, are rather lousy neighbors, namely because they are simply too caught up in their own affairs to pay attention to the people who live not just next door but on the same street or, much less, in the same community. There are, though, those rare exceptions who are good neighbors, and among them are Marshall and Sandy Bardelmeier.


In 1995, my husband Chet and I relocated from Georgia to Louisiana when Chet accepted a position in the History Department at the University of Louisiana at Lafayette, and after leasing a house for approximately a year and a half, we purchased our current home in Holiday Gardens, one of the older, more established neighborhoods in Lafayette. It wasn’t long after we moved in that we met Marshall and Sandy. I have forgotten the exact circumstances of our meeting, though I seem to recall that they simply walked across the street and introduced themselves, which would be the kind of thing they would do. They are, after all, very friendly people. 

Since that initial meeting, Marshall and Sandy have played an important role in our lives. In fact, I don’t know what we would do without them. They have always been there when we’ve needed a helping hand. For instance, Marshall, a man of many talents, taught us how to use a generator, which is a necessary skill here in hurricane country. He also built our screened porch, installed new flooring in our kitchen and dining room, and constructed our storage building in the backyard, doing all the labor for much less than anyone else would charge. Plus, since Chet, a man of letters, is totally helpless around the house, Marshall is Johnny-on-the-spot whenever anything needs to be repaired. Not that his neighborliness stops with us, for I am constantly glimpsing his green Dodge Ram pickup around the subdivision and know that he is helping someone else. But that’s just the way he is; Marshall helps other people.
 
Sandy is just as goodhearted and caring. She makes her delicious homemade soup for us when we’re ill; she offers to drive us to doctor appointments when we’re too sick or unable to drive ourselves; and she brings us little unexpected gifts just because she saw them in a shop and thought of us. She also helps other people in any way she can, yet her compassion similarly extends to all God’s creatures. For instance, each year she collects everything from furniture to clothing to glassware to toys, stores the items in their garage, and then donates them for the spring yard sale benefiting the local no-kill animal shelter.


Marshall and Sandy have also put the joy back in holidays for us. When Chet and I moved to Lafayette, it wasn’t easy living so far away from family. (Lafayette is over 750 miles from my hometown of Fairburn, Georgia, and almost 1,500 miles from Chet’s hometown of Buffalo, New York.) Of course, it still isn’t easy. In the beginning, though, holidays were especially difficult to bear, but thanks to Sandy and Marshall, that is no longer the case. Holidays are no longer lonely affairs but once again special times of the year.

For example, I believe it was during our second year in this house that Marshall and Sandy asked us to join them and their family for Thanksgiving, and after that first invitation, they invited us again and then again. Now, it’s become tradition. Every year we spend Thanksgiving Day with the Bardelmeiers: Marshall, Sandy; their two sons, Darrell and Duane; their daughter Debbie and her husband Theophile; plus, their grandchildren and, recently, great-grandchildren. Marshall and the “boys” always deep fry at least two turkeys (It’s a Louisiana thing), the table groans beneath a mouthwatering array of delectable dishes, and we celebrate the holiday with our neighbors, laughing, talking, and sharing our thankfulness for the blessings of life.

And, indeed, Chet and I have been blessed. We have been blessed with good neighbors. But then, Marshall and Sandy Bardelmeier are much more than merely good neighbors. As Eleanor Roosevelt once said, “Many people walk in and out of your lives but only true friends leave footprints in your heart.” The Bardelmeiers are true friends, they have left their footprints in our hearts, and I am grateful for them each and every day of my life. Yes, they are neighbors. Yes, they are friends. More than that, though, they have become family


 

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